Monday, May 15, 2023

Transforming Myself & Finding a Purpose in Life - by Nate Servati

It is my pleasure to share the following post written by my youngest son, Nate, for whom this blog was named. Please welcome him as he shares what he has been doing since he graduated from high school.

Thank you for your continued support! -Lorrie


I think you should know how and why I became a nutrition coach. I almost didn’t even wanna write about this because I don’t like to relive this time in my life, but this is the truth about how things really were for me and I think you’ll learn a ton from this.

Let’s just start in 2020, shall we? Yes, I’m gonna bring up that forbidden 5-letter word, unfortunately. This might be a universal reality for everyone, but I think COVID made EVERYTHING worse.

I was a junior in high school looking forward to the next baseball season. It started off great, but the start was all I got because the remainder of the season was canceled. That was the start of what I consider to be the worst time in my life.

Quarantine was in effect, so I also had no school for a decent stint. Therefore, I had nothing to do except sit around and eat anything I could get my hands on. I was binge eating to distract myself from reality, which we all know is NEVER a wise thing to do. But I guess that’s what emotional distress did to me, mostly because I let it.

A few weeks into the lockdowns and whatnot, around April and May 2020, I was at least trying everything I could to stay active, even though I didn’t really have much to stay active for. But it almost seems as if it wasn’t enough to undo the damage I was doing while binging. Just maybe.

After that, I gave up on trying to get in shape for quite a while. I was more focused on applying for college and trying to get scholarships. I was heading into my senior year, so I figured the priority was attracting scholarships, not self-care. I thought self-care was a complete waste of time because it wouldn’t raise my grade point average or allow me to play college baseball. Yeah…

At the start of my senior year (2020-21), I was top 5 in my class. It ended that way as well, but it came at a hefty cost. I was around 260-270 pounds because, at 17 years of age, I was in the worst health of my life…

I was basically trying to force myself to be either a software engineer and/or a cybersecurity analyst. That clearly was not meant to be. But if I didn’t attend a certain vocational school, I wouldn't be one of the smart kids. And if I wasn’t a smart kid, I wouldn’t get any scholarships. It was one of the very few things I actually had going for me, especially as a senior. It seems like I didn’t know any better because that mindset had been pretty much drilled into my brain by so many people.

I believed that I had to be perfect to be seen as worth anything, constantly blaming myself for things I couldn’t control. That made it to where I was doing next to nothing to fix the things that I could control.

Taking advanced placement classes only amplified that. And COVID only amplified that tension more. My class schedule and assignment load sure did a number on me, it was terrible, to say the least. I was forced to take classes that were designed for students to complete in an academic year…not in a semester. The 1st semester wasn’t quite the best, but it wasn’t terrible. On the other hand, the 2nd semester was probably the most depressing 5 months of my life.

I felt as if stress is something I should just tolerate because I’ll be stressed for the rest of my life anyway. To express it lightly, I had way too much on my plate. It truly was a never-ending cycle of stress. As most people understand, that might lead to some stress eating. Just maybe.

This affected my performance on the baseball field. I didn’t do nearly as well as I was hoping to. Nights completely without sleep didn’t seem to help much either. But how could I sleep when I’m doing everything I can academically and I’m still 30+ assignments behind? It messed with me a bit.

I felt tired and lazy all the time, even though I was doing so much. There were nights after baseball games that I’d actually pass out while walking due to my adrenals being so fried. My dad almost ended up taking me to the hospital. I wonder what would’ve been discovered if he had…

I didn’t think I was strong enough to make it through the semester, and for good reason. I was to the point where I couldn’t even enjoy all the things that were meant to be enjoyed. I genuinely felt like quitting baseball and dropping out, and I had always loved the game of baseball. I was hiding all my pain and insecurity by being goofy on the field and during the games. I couldn’t enjoy my graduation all because I was stuck on hating the way I looked and being so heavily uncertain about my future. I just wanted all the “good” things to come to an end. Survival was the priority.

The best part of all this is that I ranked top 5 in my class just to go work in a warehouse. Even after all that happened in my senior year alone, I felt like I had worked so hard for nothing. All that just for a diploma that says I made it through school and I can trade my time for and base my happiness on something that can be printed. There was no fulfillment whatsoever. Keep in mind that I was still in the worst health of my entire life.

There is something that I still deal with to this day that amplified all these problems, and it’s been quite a long time since I’ve publicly shared it. Very few people know this, but I have Asperger’s. I was diagnosed at the age of 4. The reason I haven’t told many people for a while is that I don’t EVER want people to think I use it as a crutch.

But I knew I needed to say something about it eventually because I know my story is one that can and will inspire. If I can find my way, you can, too.

Continuing on, the warehouse job was sort of a mess, literally. The warehouse was utterly disorganized and I felt like I was one of the only people actually trying to clean it up, while still fulfilling everything else that I had to.

I was doing pretty well at this job, but I felt like I was failing at life. I knew that I had some kind of higher calling, but I had no sense of direction or any clue what it could possibly be. 

I was trying to impress enough people at work so that I could hopefully get a raise. I thought that might’ve been the way to magically become less stressed. This was obviously a flawed ideology, more of a theory than anything else. I was letting the thoughts of others dictate my attitude towards the work, just to not even receive the raise after my 90-day evaluation. So I used my 3 days of PTO and ended up quitting.

However, there was a silver lining. I was way more active when I got that job, so I was able to get into better shape. I severely needed that for my health. I was still stressed, but not nearly as stressed as I was in high school and I felt better about my overall weight progress. I wasn’t collapsing anymore, I’d say that’s a plus. If I remember correctly, I got down to about 215 or 220 pounds in that 4-month span. 

   

But I still wasn’t fulfilled. In my mind, if I didn’t truly fix my life, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy what I’m supposed to, especially while I’m still young. I’d still see myself as a loser every single day because that’s how I saw myself. I was tough as can be, but losing. I had only been conditioned for failure up to this point.

   

Starting out in 2022, I knew that I could still improve my physique and figure out my life, but I had no earthly clue where to start. I wanted to have a career that allowed me to enjoy my life without having to work for someone else like I had been. I simply didn’t know what, though.

   

So I guess I thought it was a wonderful idea to start binge eating again. It was like quarantine all over again, but I was able to manage my weight better because I was more active than when I was in quarantine a couple of years prior. This went on for the first 3 months of 2022, and I surprisingly lost weight. That was mostly due to gradually less binge eating while staying as active as I had been.

   

But the sad reality was that I was still at square one regarding my career and aesthetic goals. When it came to finding a career, I was trying to be the jack of all trades and trying every idea I could get my hands on. None of those ideas fulfilled me whatsoever.

   

So in April 2022, I took a break from trying to find my career. I wanted to find myself. I wanted to be reinvented. So I decided to climb stairs for 4 hours a day for 3 weeks straight. I believed that if I were to look better, I’d suddenly be happier. Yeah…

   

Long story short, I became a cardio junkie. I cut it down just a hair and lost about 15 lbs in 3 months or so. I was so stoked that I bragged about it.

   

But because I became a cardio junkie, after those 3 months or so, I also became an adrenal/cortisol junkie. That basically means that I could feel good while working out for hours on end, which led to the point where I was no longer properly recovering so that I could keep making progress. My body was under too much stress.

   

And because I wasn’t making as much progress as I was beforehand, I started to develop a slight case of body dysmorphia. Sometime around June 2022, I started binge eating again. I wonder why. Maybe it’s because I felt like I was starving and I wanted to escape reality again. Who knows?

   

As I said before, I had been conditioned for failure by so many people over the years; my mind had been influenced with all these adverse and false beliefs.

   

Now that I am a nutrition coach, I’ve started to see that’s the case with everyone who have been struggling to lose weight. The fitness industry has put out so much information, misinformation at that, with such little context that people are trying everything under the sun and wondering why it’s not working. Then they blame themselves.

   

So in July 2022, I found it within myself to fix that issue. I hadn’t started pursuing nutrition coaching just yet, but I wanted to have a career in fitness. I was exploring my options.

    

In August 2022, I started working towards my nutrition coaching certification. I ended up learning about everything I was doing wrong in the next couple of months. It taught me that more is not always better and that physique progress is not any more important than self-care practices. 

    

It still took me until February 2023 to actually start feeling better and making solid progress again because my body was so stressed and beat up. I was also still hitting reps until I couldn’t hit any more up until about mid-January. That’s when I realized I can actually get more from less. I received my nutrition coaching certification in February, as well.

    

       

As I’m writing this paragraph, it’s currently April 2023. I’ve gotten all the way back up to around 195-200 lbs; I look and feel better than I did last April.

    

2023 has been quite the year so far. I think what changed everything for me was believing that if I trust God and follow his master plan, everything else will fall into place. I believe that I’m now on the path that the Lord is wanting me to take, and he’s guiding me to a life of creating impact and canceling false narratives that live in people’s minds about themselves.

   

If you think that’s something I can help you with regarding your fitness goals, I highly and greatly encourage you to friend me on Facebook via N8SFitreach out to me via messenger, and check out my website. 

Friday, August 19, 2022

It’s Back: A $250 SONIC® e-Gift Card and more is up for grabs!


Hello! With how hot & humid it has been over the last several months, I'm sure that you are doing everything you can to keep cool and hydrated!! I have some good news for you, especially if you like Sonic Drive-In for quenching your thirst!!

Sonic Drive-In is giving away a range of e-gift cards to help you and your loved ones to stay cool. Just click on the above link to enter yourself in the giveaway, and share it with everyone you care about, to have a chance to Win a Sonic e-gift card!!

Good luck and I will post again in the near future!

Saturday, August 13, 2022

Sharing Recent Accomplishments & Research

Greetings, Friends & Followers!

I want to share what my family has accomplished since I last posted over two years ago. Many of you remember that I have four children and four grandchildren. I recently celebrated 22 years with my loving and supportive husband. Both of my youngest sons graduated from high school during the covid pandemic; one of which experienced a YouTube virtual graduation ceremony when he was not able to walk in a traditional graduation ceremony due to the covid restrictions during the height of the pandemic. While I was working at the high school from which I graduated, I returned to college to finish my undergraduate degree after taking one year off and graduated Spring 2021 the same year my youngest son graduated from high school in a more traditonal ceremony. 

Just before acquiring my B.A. in Psychology, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I had been accepted into the graduate program for school psychology. I have since finished my first year in the graduate program towards becoming a future school psychologist. While completing various research projects, I have created several easy-to-understand PowerPoints and have decided to share them with my followers who are interested in learning more about Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). I will be sharing these informational PowerPoints individually in future posts. If you are interested in more information on any of my research topics, please contact me via email: ldservati@gmail.com with your request and any questions you have related to my research.

Thank you for your continued patience as I juggle working full-time, carrying a full-time graduate coursework schedule, and spending as much quality time as I can with my family! 

Lorrie

Thursday, July 23, 2020

Volunteering at "Feed The Children" Benefits NonProfit Organization & Student

Since the beginning of June, my youngest son, Nathan, and I have been volunteering 1-2 times a week at the Feed the Children Distribution Center in Oklahoma City, OK to help them send food and essentials to families across the United States. Nathan has almost finished his thirty-two hours of community service through Feed the Children that he will need to complete his Senior Capstone Project as a Senior at Southeast High School. If you live in the greater Oklahoma City area and your high school senior needs #HighSchoolCommunityServiceHours for his/her #SeniorCapstoneProject, please contact Meagan Taylor by calling (405)949-5168 to learn more about how YOU and YOUR TEENAGE SON or DAUGHTER can begin volunteering with Feed the Children to make a difference in your community and across the nation!


Wednesday, July 22, 2020

We Are Still Waiting For The Insurance to Settle Our Claim On Nate's 1st Car

For those of you who are not aware of what happened to both of our teenage sons last Wednesday, let me bring you up to speed! My husband and I spent the last six months looking hard to find our youngest son a car to drive himself back and forth to the technical school and high school this fall. We finally found a vehicle that our youngest son, Nathan, would be able to operate and proud to drive. We came up with a substantial down payment, financed the balance, and Nathan was finally able to take his 1st car home the Friday before last. It was a beautiful/handsome 2008 Automatic Ford Mustang GT until it was hit and totaled in an accident by another driver last Wednesday! The driver of the truck made a left turn into oncoming traffic in front of our slightly older son, who was driving his brother's car, deploying both front seat airbags. Both of our sons were in the new car coming back from working out at the VASA gym near our home, less than a mile from the house when the accident happened. Thankfully, neither one of our guys were injured. They were both considerably shaken up afterwards, but are both doing fine now.




I am stepping outside of my comfort zone to ask for your assistance in locating another Ford Mustang GT owned by an individual, with as low of mileage as possible, and under $10,000 in the state of Oklahoma. Nathan was becoming discouraged before we found the 2008 Silver Automatic Ford Mustang GT that we only had for five days, and I want to locate another vehicle for him as soon as possible! If you, or anyone you know, has information about a Ford Mustang GT with an automatic transmission that is available for purchase in the state of Oklahoma (preferrably by an individual), please leave a message for me in the comment section below this post. The more pictures and information that you have to share with me, as well as how I can contact the owner of the vehicle will help us make an informed decision about which car to buy. I know that this is an unusual request presented in a blog post, but this momma would like to find a replacement car for her son as quickly as I can after the insurance has settled the claim on his totaled 2008 Ford Mustang GT!

I appreciate the time that you spent reading this post and any assistance that you can provide our family in locating a replacement car for Nathan. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future if you have knowledge of such a car, multiple photos of the interior and exterior of the vehicle, and contact information for the seller. 

Thank you, again, for your time!

Respectfully,

Lorrie Servati
Creator & Author of "Nathan's Voice",
as well as Mom to Vincent & Nathan

Thursday, July 16, 2020

Just Say With Me "I Will Survive 2020" Breathing In/Out "I Will Survive 2020"

This year has been full of so many changes to which we have had to adjust our expectations. It started around Spring Break, then we were required to shelter at home and only go out if we needed to pick up necessities. Our Easter traditions were then drastically altered, just as our Mother's Day and Father's Day celebrations were during these uncertain times. High School and College Seniors across the nation experienced a much different Graduation Ceremony than students in the past. High school students, like my son Vincent, who received a virtual graduation got to hear their names announced in a YouTube video that they had to watch at home. Some high school students were lucky enough to be in a district that will be holding a delayed traditional high school graduation ceremony where they will be able to walk across the stage to receive their diplomas.

Parents began working from home while their children finished off the 2019-2020 school year online through hastily-created educational platforms designed by each school district, and have been spending their summer social distancing away from their friends. We then experienced a Memorial Day and a 4th of July that is much different than in the past, and it could be some time before we can eventually reclaim our most cherished traditions of celebrating with extended family, neighbors, coworkers, and friends. We are now supposed to send our children back to the brick-and-mortar schools wearing face masks so that they will be able to learn in a traditional educational setting. Unfortunately, their attention will be on how they look in their face masks, and not on protecting themselves from the virus that has had them isolated from their friends, dependent on technology to connect with them, and with the desire to go shopping at the mall!

It is not my intent to pass judgment on parents whether they choose to keep their children home to learn online through virtual means provided by their local school district, or to send their children back to learn in a traditional educational setting. It should be a personal decision and one that involves considering how best to protect their family's health. With some parents transitioning from their work-at-home offices back to a similar, but not the same, office workspace, it will be challenging for them to keep up with how well their children transition into the upcoming school year. School days will start and end later due to guidelines and restrictions that will allow schools to implement safe social distancing protecting their students, teachers, and support staff. Until parents find a way to coordinate these changes, it will temporarily create unexpected chaos between parent schedules, those of school-age children, and other family obligations.

We can and will survive these uncertain times. Our attitude and flexibility towards these changes will affect how well our children adjust and adapt to these changes. If we choose to accept the changes with a positive attitude and flexibility, the experience will prove to be a smooth transition for us and everyone around us. We have to identify what we do and do not have control and accept those situations in which we cannot control the outcome. It took me many years to realize my limitations when it came to how well I could control the outcome of situations. We cannot afford to waste energy and worry about something that we cannot change! 

My two teenage sons were recently in an accident. The other driver hit my son's car hard enough that both of the front airbags deployed. We had only had the car for five days, were waiting to receive the title so that we could put tags on it, had not even made the first payment on it, and the insurance company has totaled my youngest son's first vehicle. As much as I would like for the events of a few days ago to not have happened, I know that I cannot change or control every situation. Even though my sons did not get injured in the accident, they jointly experienced the destruction of a piece of machinery that could have taken their lives is something that they will each remember for a long time. I would have done anything to prevent that from happening to them!

To help my family survive what 2020 has dealt us, I am stepping outside of my comfort zone to ask for your help. It took my husband and me at least six months to locate a vehicle that our youngest son, Nathan, would be able to operate and proud to drive. Nathan was beginning to become discouraged before we found the car that we only had for five days, and I want to locate another vehicle for him as soon as possible! If you, or anyone you know, has information about a Ford Mustang GT with an automatic transmission that is available for purchase in the state of Oklahoma, please leave a message for me in the comment section below this post. The more pictures and information that you have to share with me, as well as how I can contact the owner of the vehicle will help us make an informed decision about which car to buy. I know that this is an unusual request presented in a blog post, but this momma would like to find a replacement car for her son as quickly as possible!

I appreciate the time that you spent reading this post and any assistance that you can provide our family. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future if you have knowledge of such a car, multiple photos of the interior and exterior of the vehicle, and contact information for the seller. Thank you, again, for your time!

Respectfully,

Lorrie Servati
Creator & Author of "Nathan's Voice",
as well as Mom to Vincent & Nathan

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Recognizing & Cultivating Your Superpowers As A Parent - Part 4

This is the final of four posts that originated from the Practical Parenting Tips section of an article that I wrote for an online parenting community several years ago. I have chosen the acronym FLY to wrap up this four-part series on how parents can use their superpowers to help their children. By connecting with other autism families in the community, parents are able to get the support that they need so that are prepared to help guide their children's journey through the spectrum.

Find an autism support group to receive and share with other families. There is something to be said about having other parents who have children with similar needs share and exchange information about available services and educational rights. Support groups can be an excellent resource when it comes to finding out which therapists, Special Education Case Managers, and Advocates are best qualified to meet the needs of your child.

Locate respite care for your child by asking other families about local resources. You will want to find area Respite Care Services for your child. Ask about qualifications, experience, and for references before making an informed decision about which respite care is best for your family. You have a right to be able to have some time to yourself or with your spouse but you will also want to make sure that your child is being taken care of by someone who is qualified. 

You and your family are a priority; make sure that you include family time on your schedule! It is important for your family to get together for fun and stress-free activities, but sometimes that is easier said than done!! Keep it as simple as possible, be somewhat flexible on behavior, and have FUN!!! Our favorite family activity is watching a movie together and having a snack that we enjoy. Since I wrote the original article, our family's favorite game is now "What Should You Do?" a game of consequences. We have even started creating our own questions and consequence cards!

I hope that all of the information I have shared with you will assist you in using your superpowers to help your child. The full article, Autism "How-To" Guide For Parents has so much more to offer, if you are interested! If you enjoyed reading this post, please #share it in support of #AutismAwarenessMonth. Thank you for your time and continued support of my efforts to raise #AutismAwareness throughout the year, not just in April!!

Your friend,

Lorrie